I find that I'm proud of myself even if I haven't been reaching my goals or even if I don't make 50k because I finally got out of this trap where I would write a little and then go back to edit it... or worse, I would sit there and contemplating my words and actions for hours until I found the perfect and exact way to write it. If all I have gotten from NaNoWriMo is this ability to just write until finished for a shitty first draft, then I would be extremely grateful.
Something I have discovered during my adventure is that I am thrilled to follow my gut instinct when it came to developing the characters in Inoculation. Characters are very important to me and I take a lot of time thinking about them, even if I don't spend a lot of time before I write to develop them. I've actually surprised myself on several occasions where I knew my characters. I didn't write out pages of information on them... actually I didn't write out anything. No "character interviews" no exercises on "what would this character do or say" and no forms. It's liberating, to be honest. I don't know whether this means I am doing well with my character's development, but I FEEL like I am. Wishful thinking? Maybe. But I feel like I understand them.
When my husband helps me work out a scene, we discuss possible actions characters would take within the scene. I find myself saying, "I don't really think that such and such character would do that." or "I could totally see this character doing that!" It's great to know who my characters without a tedious, boring process. I wonder if this will work for everything I write? Is this my 'process' or am I just lazy? My characters are in control of themselves, I think. XD
Speaking of my husband, I have to gush for a moment about how awesome he is. Not only is he just awesome in general, but he's the best writing buddy ever. I always get the best input and the best help from him. Whenever I am stuck he always has a helpful thought or an idea that sparks my own ideas. It might be because we both are interested in the subject of my book, Inoculation, but he's also been great help with other stories as well.
Something I have found very difficult throughout this first week is not only keeping up with the word count, but catching up once I fall behind. Even though I write every day, sometimes I was only about to write 200-500 words. When you need 1667 minimum, that's not all that good. And it's not like I can just write 5k words in a few hours like I have seen others do. I've never written that much in a day and I'm not sure that I could unless I locked myself up in a dark room with no human contact for 8 hours. But that will never happen. Haha. I'd go crazy.
Win or lose, it's still great. I can't wait until the end though because I am sort of interested in reading other people's work. But anyway, hopefully I can get back on track and maybe I will still make it! Gotta get back to work!